There is a baby in my belly that is about four weeks old. Yep, we are expecting baby number two. This experience is already so much different than last time. While we were trying to have a baby when MaKenzie was born we never dreamed it would happen so fast, so we weren't really keeping track of cycles and things. This time around I knew right away to take a pregnancy test and it was positive.
We have been trying for about three months now and due to the irregular patterns of my cycles we have had a few let downs when we took a test when my cycle was three weeks late to have it be negative and begin my period the next day. This time it was positive. :)
It's funny to already be noticing the symptoms at such an early stage. Last time around I just thought I had a little stomach digestion problems and I was close to my period which explained the mood swings. I feel a little bit more in control this time that I know what is going on from the very first step.
I have began feeling a little bit more nauseous each day but I find that it is so much easier this time when I can sit down when I need to and give my body time to recover. Last time I was waking up in the early morning hours everyday during the worst times of the sickness and forcing myself to be on the move for 10 and 11 hour days. Napping with Kenzie and snacking and eating meals with Kenzie has definitely been wonderful.
I am so excited to be a mom again. Being apart of a family is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I'm excited to make our family bigger. The joy that comes from a successful home is far greater than any joy I have ever felt in my life. I truly feel blessed to have a wonderful husband and father who is a righteous priesthood holder in my home and the principles of the gospel to help guide what we should do in our home. I love me life. :)
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
I need to vent . . .
I am just having one of those moments that I really just need a second to complain and express some silly concerns that have been piling up lately. I want to let it out but I don't really want to bother anyone with such trivial momentary feelings, but I also feel that I can get over it a little bit if I organize my thoughts in a little bit of a journal entry here. It's funny, but writing down my thoughts, especially the worrisome ones, can be very therapeutic for me. Anyway, here it goes.
Do you ever worry if you are being a good enough mom? I am just having one of those days where I worry. The world is getting uglier and uglier and I as a mother have a responsibility to raise children to be in the world and not of the world. I worry that I'm not being a good enough example by getting to easily frustrated some days and too frazzled others. I worry that I won't be able to create a loving relationship in my home where there is an open line of communication between me and my children. I worry that I am not disciplining enough or being patient enough. I know it's not good to worry, and it's not like I let these worries overwhelm me, it's just something that crosses my mind sometimes and especially concerns me on more emotional and stressful days such as today.
I know these silly worries and just the adversary's way of trying to convince me that I am not a good enough mother. Oh how he would love if I were to always dwell on these things rather than focusing on my children. I know that as Garrett and I pray each day and keep the commandments in holding FHE and family scripture study and prayer that there are great promises in our grasp, I now that having a close family means spends quality and quantity time together and that being a good mother comes as I simply do everything within my power to make sacrifices for my children to be with them every step of the way as they grow and develop. But, it's so easy to forget that when I am stressed with tons of apartment stuff, just returning from a vacation, finding out our insurance has been cancelled for some strange reason, when I am concerned for family members who are making poor decision and seeing them unhappy, and all the other tiny burdens of life.
I have a SUPER bad habit of comparing myself to other moms as well. I see the cute little things they do with things that they do with their kids and I worry that I am not doing enough. I see other kids already learning to be potty trained or learning to count and at first I think "They're only 15 months, there is plenty of time for that later" but then there is that little nagging voice that says "Maybe I should be doing that too, is my kid is going to get behind?" Comparing myself to others has never gotten me anything but upset and I know it is a bad habit, but some days it's harder than others.
Well, there is my venting session for the day. These are all such silly petty concerns that I know aren't true, but it is nice to write it down and just move on . . . :)
Do you ever worry if you are being a good enough mom? I am just having one of those days where I worry. The world is getting uglier and uglier and I as a mother have a responsibility to raise children to be in the world and not of the world. I worry that I'm not being a good enough example by getting to easily frustrated some days and too frazzled others. I worry that I won't be able to create a loving relationship in my home where there is an open line of communication between me and my children. I worry that I am not disciplining enough or being patient enough. I know it's not good to worry, and it's not like I let these worries overwhelm me, it's just something that crosses my mind sometimes and especially concerns me on more emotional and stressful days such as today.
I know these silly worries and just the adversary's way of trying to convince me that I am not a good enough mother. Oh how he would love if I were to always dwell on these things rather than focusing on my children. I know that as Garrett and I pray each day and keep the commandments in holding FHE and family scripture study and prayer that there are great promises in our grasp, I now that having a close family means spends quality and quantity time together and that being a good mother comes as I simply do everything within my power to make sacrifices for my children to be with them every step of the way as they grow and develop. But, it's so easy to forget that when I am stressed with tons of apartment stuff, just returning from a vacation, finding out our insurance has been cancelled for some strange reason, when I am concerned for family members who are making poor decision and seeing them unhappy, and all the other tiny burdens of life.
I have a SUPER bad habit of comparing myself to other moms as well. I see the cute little things they do with things that they do with their kids and I worry that I am not doing enough. I see other kids already learning to be potty trained or learning to count and at first I think "They're only 15 months, there is plenty of time for that later" but then there is that little nagging voice that says "Maybe I should be doing that too, is my kid is going to get behind?" Comparing myself to others has never gotten me anything but upset and I know it is a bad habit, but some days it's harder than others.
Well, there is my venting session for the day. These are all such silly petty concerns that I know aren't true, but it is nice to write it down and just move on . . . :)
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