Slowing Down

I'm a busy body. I always have been. I tend to make the mistake of connecting my self-worth to the completed check marks on my to-do list. Anyone else have that problem?

Nothing like a good quote from President Monson to bring things back into perspective today:

"Give your child a compliment and a hug; say, 'I love you' more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved."

("Joy in the Journey" BYU Women's Conference May 2, 2008)

That was a good little kick in the pants for me. I am certainly guilty of getting so caught up in getting a chore or project done that I can easily get frustrated with the constant needs of the girls that interfere with completing just about anything from beginning to end in one sitting. The past few days as I have made efforts just to say "I love you" more often I have definitely seen a change in the feelings of our home. Funny how three little words can have so much influence.

Number Three Anybody?

No, this isn't an announcement - at least not that I know of, it is always a possibility right?

Garrett and I have just been starting to discuss another baby as of late. We've been going along for quite some time now thinking that there was a possibility that we could be done. The friends and family that I shared this with said that it wouldn't happen and that we were bound to have more children. So, here I am eating my words and thinking about baby Chappell number three.

I must admit this one is a toughie. You see, we know EXACTLY what we are getting ourselves into now. With Kenzie and Jordyn there was a whole lot of unknowns and a whole lot of learning as you go. While I know that there is always more to learn, we are still well educated on natural child birth - the unplanned kind where you think you are going to get an epidural but oops, no, wait, the baby is born 54 minutes after the first contraction so lets just pray to get to a hospital on time. We know all about the lack of sleep, the nine months of pregnancy, the midnight feedings, and the doubled laundry load all from a little person at least half the size of everyone else in the house.

To add to the toughness there is the haunting idea out there that number three is this like catapulting yourself into this insane state of parenthood in which the children outnumber the parents.

On the flip side we know that there is nothing sweeter than watching your spouse hold a new infant in their arms and care for that precious baby. There is nothing sweeter than knowing that you can provide that baby with a stable home - a bit quirky, but stable nonetheless. There is nothing more inspiring than bearing a baby and watching that baby grow inside of you. And there is no better way to learn the great characteristics of patience, love, and long-suffering than by becoming a parent.

So here we are grappling with the beginnings of becoming baby hungry as we hold the sweet little babies of our good friends and having a pretty good idea of just how much it takes to add to your family. While I know the hardness of the step won't keep us from adding to our family, it is still just a funny place to find ourselves in. I'm sure we will happily take on the challenges associated with adding to our family (most days anyway) but it sure is a funny place to be standing right now.

Now don't get me wrong here, I am not trying to paint this all awful picture of parenthood. As is true with all things in life - the things that take the most effort reep the greatest reward and are well worth the challenge. And at the end of those storm clouds is a rainbow and some life lessons learned that are well worth effort! :)

Top Five Fridays - Genius Diversion

It's the last few hours of the day. Everyone is hungry, getting tired, and restless. Sound familiar? If not, you're going to have to clue me in; it's practically a nightly occurrence at our house.

Well, here are five little bits of geniusness that I've read about and stolen from other moms. (I always laugh when someone compliments me on an amazing idea; if amazing is what you get for copying or tweaking another person's great idea, then I guess I am the queen of amazing.)

1. Crayola BathCrayons. I got this one from my mother-in-law. She sent some of these in a package to the girls a few months back and I tell ya, it is like she is babysitting my kids from 3,000 miles away. They are so happy. I can sit outside the bathroom door with a book or my guitar for what feels like hours! (In mommy land, twenty minutes of happy children that aren't asking for something can truly feel like hours.) I must warn you that these bad boys can stain the grout in your tub if you are not faithful about wiping off the walls that the kids colored on - well worth the effort in my opinion.

2. Want to make bath time quite time? Impossible you might say? Not at all. Give them each a succor. When my girlfriend Heather told me about this one I must admit that I thought it was kind of gross. I thought "ew, they will dip it in the water and they are surrounded in their own filth". Then I quickly realized that my kids drink the bath water during every bath anyway. No matter how many times I say "Icky water, you don't want to drink it" they quickly forget. Well, I choose my battles and don't enforce this one. I'm sure they've put things in their mouth that I am unaware of that is much worse than their own bath water.

3. Painting the fence. At least that is what they THINK they are doing. Give the kids a bucket of water and some paint brushes and tell them to paint the fence. By the time they get all the way to other end you can point out that somehow their "paint" has "mysteriously" disappeared and they need to start all over again. Entertainment for a full hour the first time we tried it at our house! This one is thanks to my girlfriend Amanda whose mother-in-law clued her in on this mothering trick of the trade.

4. Saran wrap. It can do more than just make you mad for not sticking to everything it is supposed to stick to, only to do a fabulous job of sticking to itself instead. Saran wrap a big section of your sliding door windows and then equip your crazy kids with stickers and dry erase markers and let the fun begin. It peals right off when you are done. I have not done this one myself, but my friend Heather did this one day while watching my kids and they loved it.

5. "The Special Box" I read about this one in a book. Gather some favorite toys and books or anything to your liking and put it in a box. Let the kids decorate it and pronounce it "The Special Box". The box only comes our during certain times when mother needs it (i.e. when you want to pull your hair out). It amazes me what can be done with a few things that are just lying around in your house and calling it "special" can do.

Thank-you Sister Beck

" A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all the people or do all of the things her heart yearns to do. Life is not calm for most women, and each day seems to require the accomplishment of a million things, most of which are important."

Sister July B. Beck

Relief Society General President of the Church of Jesus-Christ of

Latter-Day Saints.

As I sat down to plan for the week today I rapidly found myself advancing towards a good panic attack as I stared at my completed to-do list. My mind came back to these words from Sister Beck in the most recent general conference and I quickly calmed down as I recognized that this is the righteous lot of all women. We all have much to - we must therefore be careful about what we do do.

The "to-do" list can become an obsession if I let it. Everything on that list is important. But studying the scriptures, having family prayer, sitting down and reading a book with the girls, have a little wrestling match for no good reason, and saying a prayer to calm myself in a flustered moment - these things are not on the to-do list; yet, they are among the most important tasks of any day.

Thank-you Sister Beck for helping me to remember that if nothing gets crossed off that list tomorrow because calming down a one-year-old teether and making meals for a hungry family consumed the majority of the day - then I have actually had a VERY successful day after all.

Reactive Parenting

It would have been nice to be a little bit more prepared for my first week long separation from my kiddoes, but life happens and I had to be out to Utah in a jiffy to help my dad recover from a serious surgery. (He's doing much better and on the up side now, but he was really scary there for a few days).

We got word on Tuesday that we were needed and we up and scooted out of town on Wednesday morning. (More like ran, sprinted, and jumped all at once) My dad is sick enough that having the girls around would have made things worse, so I got tickets to Phoenix in order to drop my girls off with the amazing Mishler's, and now I am in Utah for a few more days . . . and MAN I miss those two little gals, not to mention my handsome husband.

Being away from them has been good for me though. I have had a chance to breathe and think about being a mom. Kenzie is going through a bitof a brutal phase lately in that she has turned up the drama queen tantrums to an overwhelming level. I was getting to a point where I wanted to tear my hair out. It is SO easy to be a reactive parent. What I mean by that is that it is easy to just kind of parent as you go and react to each situation as it comes. Sometimes you react well, and during those stressful moments you react in such a way that you know is just as childish as the child you are teaching. This trip has given me the chance to think of each little situation that Kenzie has presented me with over the past few weeks and ask myself: "What would have been the best way to deal with that situation". Nine times out of ten I can come up with a loving, good response to that situation. I also found that many situations are more similar than I noticed and the best way to respond can spread across several different situations.

Here are a few thoughts that I had on how to be less of a reactive parent:

1. Talk about a particular bad habit throughout the day with your child rather than just responding to it when it comes. For example, Kenzie is in the habit of getting upset and hitting me lately on her way to time-out. This drives me CRAZY!!!! I can talk to her randomly throughout the day about how her hitting makes mommy feel sad and that I feel happy when I get hugs and kisses. I can mention that any time that she hits that she will have to go to time-out until she can calm down and say sorry. I'm hoping this will help so that when I can see she is getting ready to hit I can say "Remember how we talked about how hitting makes mommy sad?"

2. Prevention! There is a lot that I can do to prevent a lot of things. Many of Kenzie's meltdowns are centered around me having too much going on at once, so I am not paying enough attention. Just the other day I was trying to type up some stuff on the computer. I could hear her frustrated behind me trying to get something unstuck, but I was so intent on what I was doing and I just figured she would figure it out for herself. Well, it quickly turned to a meltdown, a hitting mom, and a time-out. I could have prevented it by helping her calm down before she reached melt-down mode.

3. Finally, give her a hug! The last thing Iwant to do is hug her when she is throwing a fit .. . but I know I like a hug when Iam having my adult version of a meltdown, she could be the same.

This break from the girls has taught me the importance of taking time to think about the way you have dealt with situations in the past and coming up with the best ways to respond in the future . . . wish me luck. :)

White Lies, Bunny Rabbits, and Elmo

The best white lie in my home growing up came in the form of a little bunny rabbit. My little sis was an animal freak. She loved anything that hopped, barked or meowed. The tragedy always came when the animal died. My poor little sister was devestated by the death of her little furry friends. Well, our sweet little bunny rabbit friend (whose name I can't even remember . . . I was NOT the animal lover in the family) joined our family and did his thing as he happily ate in his cage and pooped all over the house whenever we thought it was a good idea to let him out. The problem came one day in the form of a three year old that my mom was babysitting. Naturally the little girl thought picking up the rabbit and shaking it by the neck would be a great thing to do. This bright idea left our rabbit friend paralyzed. It was a horrible sight to see, even for me - the anti-pet lover. Our little rabbit's neck was stuck in a side ways position and every time he hopped his front paws hit his little face. My parents took the little guy to the vet to see if anything could be done. The vet couldn't do anything except put the poor little thing to sleep to stop the suffering. Well, rather than reveal the truth to my little sister my parents stopped at a pet store on the way home from the vets. They searched frantically for another white rabbit with brown spots; but without any success. So, they did the next best thing, they bought a rabbit with dark brown fur and told my sister that as part of the rabbits treatment the vet had given him a special bath and the shampoo dyed the rabbit's fur dark brown. I'm not sure when the truth caught up with her, but it saved my parents a burying in the backyard and a devastated daughter.

Now, the beginning of my white lies doesn't even begin to compare to this, but it is a good beginning nonetheless. You see, Kenzie has an absolute love for an Elmo t-shirt that my little sister got her for Christmas last year. The child would wear it every day if she could. A few days ago she was going through the routine of asking for her Elmo shirt (that I had hidden in hopes that if she didn't see it then she wouldn't miss it). Well, the out-of-sight-out-of-mind tactic failed and she started asking for it every morning. My response was that the shirt was too small and she couldn't wear it anymore (TOTAL lie . . . I mean, WHITE lie). My lies were caught when Kenzie was talking to Aunt Ginny a few days back and Aunt Ginny asked her about her favorite Elmo shirt. Kenzie proudly announced that Elmo was too small and I was caught. My sister has teased me about it ever since.

I guess I have a lot to learn in the white lie portion of parenting, but I've got time to practice. ;)

So cough it up . . . what have you lied about?

A Child's Prayer

I don't know about the rest of you, but prayer time can feel like a zoo at times. Our morning prayers are not typically too bad because they precede going out the door. Going out the door is something MaKenzie is looking forward to, and knowing that prayers have to be completed before leaving is reason enough for her to sit down and fold her little arms. Nighttime prayers are a totally different story. These prayers are inevitably followed by going to bed - something that Kenzie will try as craftily as possible to avoid. These evening prayers sometimes require bribery ("Daddy will give you a piggy back ride if you say prayers") and can even come to subtle threats when our patience is waning ("No bedtime book if you don't come and pray with us"). The threats are something we try to avoid because we don't want her associate prayer time with something horrible, but when you're tired and looking forward to get a crazy kid in bed you do whatever works fastest. Once we are gathered, the way the prayer itself goes depends on her mood. If she is feeling silly she will chant Jesus' name through the entire prayer or play peek-a-boo with Jordyn. If she is feeling sassy she will lay on her back and refuse to kneel. If she is feeling sweet then she will actually kneel, bow her head, and close her eyes (only for the first few seconds of coarse - I don't know one two year old who keeps their eyes closed for the entire prayer?) By the end of these encounters we can often wonder why we are going through this process as all? Well, the answer same yesterday in a pretty humorous way . . .

Kenzie is a bit clumsy. She tends to get excited and not watch where she is going, and then when she trips on her way to her destination she can have a total break down. Yesterday we were celebrating a poo-poo in the potty momentous occasion and we were excitedly running into the kitchen for a pez reward. Well, she tripped in transit and fell on her knee. The first words out of her mouth (in that loud, whining, fake cry, two-year-old, tantrum voice) were, "Ooooweeeee, I waaaant to saaaay a p-p-praaaayer to maaaake my kneeeee all bet-t-t-ter." I'm proud to say that we said a little prayer right then and there (even though my typical feeling towards the fake cry is annoyance). As soon as we finished our prayer Kenzie popped up and said, "See, Jesus works, all better."

Lesson learned: Every prayer that ends with you secretly wanting to throw your child out the window is actually a step in the right direction.

A Piece of Gum

Have you ever stopped to think of what life is like through a child's eyes? A little experience a few weeks ago got me thinking about the thought process and priorities of a child . . .

I was having a hard time that morning getting the girls out the door to play group. I felt reluctant to go because I didn't want to go through all that was required to get myself and two children out of the house; but I also knew that NOT going would end up in a feeling of stir craziness and orneriness. So, as I FINALLY made it to the car and started loading up the stroller, the diaper bag, and the children I realized that our 72-hour kits (that I had JUST finished rotating a few nights before) had been stolen. I was pretty bummed about the situation, but the feelings quickly turned to horror as I realized that copies of all our private documents were also in those bags. In the midst of phoning the police to file a report, phoning Garrett to express my frustration, and feeling violated by some idiot stranger - my two year old started to have a break down because she wanted a piece of gum. By this point my patience was gone . . . As I relayed the situation to my dad later, he wisely said, "Well, birth certificates and social security cards aren't at the top of the priority list for a two-year-old."

As I thought about the priorities of a two-year-old I was at first kind of envious. I recounted all that I am responsible for in a day and felt overwhelmed by the mere thought. I then thought of how life just seems too easy for a little kid; there is always someone there to feed them, cloth them, entertain them, and clean-up after them. After stewing like this for a moment I stopped to realize that their life is just simple. A piece of bubble gum is at the top of their priority list . . . I could learn something from that. How often do I let busy tedious things crowd out the simple and good things? Being busy isn't bad . . . but being TOO busy is. And being too busy is something that I am often guilty of.

So, my priorities have changed for the day. Number one on my list for the moment is to go unwrap a piece of bubble gum with my two year old and roll around the floor with my baby . . .

Lessons on Uptightness

I am a situationally uptight person.  Getting ready for a finals week in collage made me uptight.  Getting ready for a camping trip and doing all I can to prepare, and then getting there only to realize I've forgotten something extremely important like the matches makes me uptight.  Having people over to my house for dinner and trying to get the house clean and the food ready can make me uptight.   I can get extremely uptight trying to get everyone to church on time on Sundays.   What's worse is that once I realize I am being uptight, I get more uptight because I feel guilty for being uptight in the first place.  Well, a few days ago I realized that things are starting to change . . . 

It occurred to me as I was sitting and nursing the baby one afternoon that things really have changed.  As I sat down to nurse and watch Aladdin for the 523rd time it clicked.  You see, our television is our toddlers favorite toy.  The buttons, the music, and the characters that that box contain are absolutely thrilling to her; so, naturally the screen is ALWAYS covered in toddler sized smudges.  About a year ago, this would have been a great cause for uptightness in my world.  I used to HATE glass smudges.  I cleaned all the mirrors in my house almost every day - windex was my best friend.  As I sat there looking at the TV I realized that it hadn't even occurred to me to care about the extremely dirty television (I think I even saw some peanut butter from the previous days lunch). 

Boy am I glad that some switch in my brain seems to have triggered so a less uptight mode.  Being uptight as a mother can only lead to disaster.   The TV is destined to ALWAYS be smeared in finger prints, the kitchen floor (particularly in the area where the toddler sits) will never be clean for more than three of four seconds, there will often be blow-outs and major spit-ups at the most inconvenient times, and your toddler will throw temper tantrums in public places.  For someone like me who seems to be programmed to stress out over such nonsense, I am proud to say that these moments of  motherhood don't seem to affect me like they should.  I can't say I'm perfect, I definitely have my snapping moments; but I seem to be getting better with time . . .   

 

The Intelligence of Motherhood

For those of you who knew me in high school and college you will probably recall me being a little bit anal about my grades (okay, a LOT anal). If it wasn't an A, then it wasn't acceptable. Straight A's was my goal and strait A's was pretty much what I got. I'd nearly have an aneurysm if I thought I wasn't going to get great marks, I was likely to claim that my parents were going to kill me if I didn't get perfect grades (which was FAR from the truth, they just wanted me to do my best and I interpreted that as being strait A's or a failure).

Back then I could carry on an educated conversation about Piaget's theories or I could compare all different types of reading programs. I could remember several different mathematical formulas and use them correctly or I could analyze Beowulf and poetry with ease. I can't do these things any more, but I don't feel that I am any less intelligent.

I realized that my mode of intelligence was changing about a year ago. I was back in Utah visiting family and I was playing a good old game of Boggle with my little sis. At the time my sister was right at the beginning of her college career and fully emerged in the tests, the grades, the papers, and the hard work that goes into obtaining a degree of any sort. Well, she absolutely SLAUGHTERED me round after round after round. We were both surprised at her conquering due to the fact that only a few years before I had been the queen of Boggle in our house. Our family would play it often and I had finally gotten to the point where I could even give my dad a run for his money. To have my little sister beat me time and time again was crazy! Until a few weeks ago I just thought this experience was sure evidence that I was getting dumber since the time I had replaced my backpack for a baby, but now I like to think that the type of intelligence that I use is what has changed . . .

Now, instead of being a master at getting good grades, attending classes, creating lesson plans, writing papers, and taking tests I am becoming a master of intelligence in motherhood. Here are just a few of the things that I believe makes a mother quite an intelligent person:

1. It really takes a lot of thinking and organizing to get a husband, two girls, and myself to church each week. This may seem like a simple task, but it requires a diaper bag packed full of snacks, reverent activities, diapers for two, extra clothes, and plenty of other stuff. Then there is the church bag packed with scriptures, lesson manuals, and whatever is needed for our callings that week. I have to get myself and two other little bodies bathed, hair done, and dressed. While my husband is quite helpful, he is easily distracted and can often be found playing with the toddler on the living room floor rather than putting her shoes or coat on. When all is said and done, it is always a small miracle to be seated on time at church each Sunday.

2. Then there is the fact that a mother can multi-task. No one but a mother knows what it is like to get dinner ready, keep a toddler entertained, make a few phone calls, and hold a fussy baby all at the same time.

3. A mother of a toddler is also quite creative. We have a whole bunch of tricks up our sleeves for all sorts of situations. For example, when your toddler gets an "ow-ee" we have several ways to deal with the wailing. There is always the element of distraction in which you simply distract the toddler by asking them if they want to go watch a show or go on a walk, leaving the toddler to quickly forget about their despair. Or, you could use what I call the "tough kid strategy" that my dad always used with us. If the "ow-ee" isn't serious you can always point at the wall that the child ran into and say "Look, you didn't hurt the wall". This leads the toddler to quickly study the wall rather than wail about their imagined bump. You could also try hugs, kisses, or a band-aide. I didn't realize how much these methods had sunk into my toddlers little head until she took a pretty hard stumble over her chair a few days ago. I anticipated wailing, but she quickly returned to her feet, set the chair strait, patted the chair and said "Chair ok", she kissed her arm better, and then turned and asked me for a "and-id" (band-aide).

4. A mother is also a developing expert on patience. We get a healthy lesson on it each day when the toddler decides that the bleaching pen is a toy, when the baby blows out all over EVERYTHING right before you are walking out the door, or when a trip to the store turns into nothing short of a circus!

5. Finally, there is nothing like a mother's love. Unless you have been a mother you will never know that overwhelming feeling of gratitude, awe, and love that can overcome you for no reason when you simply look at your children. You know you would do anything for these little people that you have brought into the world and that you will gladly spend the rest of your life worrying about them, loving them, and guiding them.

So, in short, a mother is in training to be intelligent in a different way, but still in a VERY important way. There is nothing like motherhood to stretch you to your limits to become a better person than you ever dreamed. We feel like failures at times, but in the end if we have helped to nurture some of Heavenly Father's children we have done something truly intelligent.

So, how have you become more intelligent since you became a mother?

Mess #3,255

I didn't think I would have to post about messes again, but Kenzie has given me plenty reason to do so . . .

This morning Jordyn woke up at 5:15, after I got her back down I decided to take a shower rather than lie back down. As a result of my early morning shower I was quite exhausted by the time I had gotten Kenzie fed, bathed and ready for the day. So, I turned on "Dash" and went to lie down in my bedroom.

After about thirty minutes of napping I hear my daughter right next to my head whispering "Mommy, Mommy". I open my eyes to the most incredible sight I have ever seen. The child was CAKED with diaper rash cream. Every inch of the left side of her face was completely covered, each of her legs had a generous helping, and her left arm was also completely caked in cream. I walked out into the living room to find the carpet, her little chair, and the television covered as well. It was horrendous! I must say I was quite upset at the sight of it all and the necessity of cleaning it up. I keep finding new spots to clean as the day progresses.

I know I will FOREVER regret having not taken a picture, but the camera was in the room the baby was sleeping in and she was close to the end of her nap, so I didn't want to risk waking her up and have her screaming her head off while I had to deal with Kenzie. It didn't occur to me until it was too late that I could have gotten the video camera, but I was a little too frazzled to remember that.

Before I could even say a word about the mess, Kenzie was pointing at the chaos saying "no, no!" THE CHILD KNEW SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO DO IT! UGH!

My first attempt at cleaning the mess was baby wipes, but they hardly did a thing. So, we headed to the bathroom for yet ANOTHER bath. I tried to lather up lots of soap suds in order to get the blasted stuff off, but that didn't work either. We ended up resorting to good old fashioned scrubbing. My child's skin was red by the time I had gotten it all off and she was wailing at the top of her lungs. By this time I was dreading the attempts to remove it from her clothes and the carpet. I scrubbed at the carpet for fifteen minutes and its still plastered to the floor. I am PRAYING that the carpet cleaning man will get it out. Plus, I am really bummed about the cute outfit I had her in. I need to stop buying cute clothes and just let her look like a hobo child so that I don't care when this happens . . .

The best was that just as I was getting the mess somewhat cleaned up the baby woke up for a feeding. Well, that little stinker fell asleep while feeding and over fed herself; so, we all knows where the extra food goes - ALL over mommy, the floor, and the rocking chair. NONE of the spit-up got on her? It was by far one of the worst spit-ups I have ever experienced. I had to change all of my clothes (underwear included) and wash my hair again, not to mention more scrubbing of the floor and the furniture.

Oh boy! What a day! It's only 10:30 and I am going to take the day off. Kenzie can watch WHATEVER movie she wants, have WHATEVER snacks she wants, and I am going to rest WHENEVER I feel like it, and I am going to try really hard not to feel guilty about the pile of laundry that I was wanting to tackle today and the toys that are now scattered ALL over the house. We were going to attempt an outing today, but I must say I just don't feel like putting all the effort that goes into getting out the door with an infant and a two year old.

In the midst of the messes I was texting my family about my crazy morning and my dad reminded me that many years from now I will look back on these times as some of the best in my life . . . we'll just have to wait many years to see about that! :)

Lesson Learned: No matter how toddler proof you think the house is you are absolutely wrong!

A Mother of Two

I can't lie, being the mother of two has thrown me a lot more curve balls than I ever anticipated. The pure exhuastion that comes with a newborn just doesn't mix well with the never ending energy of a toddler. The last three weeks have been a trial of patience and emotional stability (any new mom knows what I mean by emotional stability - those moments of breaking into sobbing tears over silly things that you know wouldn't be bothering you if you had had more than two hours of sleep the night before . . . ) I have learned a few lessons from this crazy transition that I don't want to forget:

Lesson #1: Just laugh, it really is good for the soul. One thing that has been tried and tested every day since we had Jordyn is our patience, and we have found laughter to be a helpful remedy for moments of frustration.

MaKenzie has created a few messess in the last few weeks that made me want to pull my hair out and scream at first, but Garrett and I have just learned to laugh, clean it up, and move on. Here are two of the most recent messess:

For MaKenzie's second birthday her Grandma Voeks got her a tea set that she absolutely adores. This tea set is the best non-human babysitter that I could have ever asked for. (Well, Walt Disney videos are a definate competitor when it comes to the "non-human babysitter") Anywho, Kenzie will play with this tea set for hours. Any friends who come to the house to visit are always graciously offered several cups of tea.

Well, yesterday while I was nursing the baby Kenzie was sitting right in front of me with her back to me watching TV and playing with her tea set. She also had her sippy cup full of milk. I'm sure you can all put two and two together . . . Yes, my bright daughter decided that she needed some real liquid to fill her tea cups so she decided to take big sips of milk from her sippy and spit them into the cups and kettle of her tea set. I didn't catch onto the fun until the carpet, the toddler, and the tea cups were full of milk.

My first feeling was frustration. It was right before nap time and I had just changed her diaper in preparation for nap. The baby was fussy and I had a lot of management duties to tend to at that moment as well. So now I had a fussy baby, management duties, a toddler to change into dry clothes and a dry diaper, a floor to clean up, and a tea set to clean. So, I said quick prayer to avoid frustration and who should call but my dad? I explained the situation to him and he found great humor in the situation helping me to see the humor and laugh as well. My dad just saw his granddaughter as being smart . . . Mom didn't provide any real liquid for the tea, so she did.

Our second moment that left us wanting to pull out our hair occurred a few weeks ago when Kenzie found the baby lotion. I was nursing and Garrett was cleaning the kitchen and Kenzie was left to wonder at her own free will. After about ten or fifteen minutes of nursing I had that all to familiar, yet uncomfortable feeling that the house was too quite. I called to Garrett to ask if he could see Kenzie. We both began looking for her only to find her sitting on the floor in the nursery in a puddle of lotion. There was lotion in her hair, in huge globs all over her legs, lotion on the crib, you get the picture . . . The good news is that our nursery carpet is super soft and smells like baby lotion. :)

So, while these moments can be frustrating because all they seem to look like at the time is another huge mess to clean up, there really is a lot of humor to be had. Laughing rather than yanking Kenzie into time-out has been very helpful for everyone.

Lesson #2: Remember the joyful moments of the day. At the end of the day when I am in bed trying to settle in for a few precious hours of sleep I try to remember the joyful moments of the day. Most days this last week have been extremely difficult. This was my first week without any extra adult help which meant a lot less rest for me, which also meant I was more irritable and emotional. I have found a lot of relief in just remembering the precious moments of the day. Just those little things like MaKenzie giving Jordyn a kiss on the forehead, or Garrett coming home with a smile on his face and dinner in his hands. They're nothing huge, but help me to remember how much I really do love being a mother and how much I love the people I serve each day.

Lesson #3: Me time. Going from the mother of two to the mother of one puts a big damper on the amount of "me time" a woman has. By the end of the first weeks I was just so drained. As Garrett and I discussed ways to help me keep it together during these next few weeks and months he suggested that I be sure to get a few hours of me time in each week. This is time when I am free of the girls to do whatever I want.

At first I was almost confused by this idea. I regrettfully say that it's been a while since I have pursued any of my hobbies. I can't tell you the last time I picked up my flute, my guitar, or just sat at the piano. I can't tell you how long it's been since I did some good scrapbooking, and a lot of the books that I love to read are still in a box in storage. I have shamefully let some of my great talents tall to the wayside. So when Garrett suggested this it was really quite refreshing. Not only do I walk away from "me time" feeling refreshed and energized and ready to be a better mom, but I am also doing things that I really love to do. Motherhood is really the most demanding job anyone could have. There is always something to be done for someone in the household and its been easy for me to get so cuaght up in everyone elses needs that I forget about some of my own.

Lesson #4: When it comes down to it, motherhood is the job I always wanted and it's the best job ever. Just yesterday Kenzie woke up from a nap early so I went in to get her and we curled up on the couch together and she fell asleep in my arms. Jordyn was fast asleep in the crib next to us. While I looked at my sleeping girls I was overcome with awe and love for these two little beings that Heavenly Father has entrusted to me. I began to think about the day, which had basocally been one of the most trying days of my entire motherhood existence. As I thought I realized that motherhood is the only job EVER that can be so physically, emotionally, and spiritually demanding. It gives numerous daily opportunities to be patient, loving, understaning, and to render service. There is no other job that can give so many opportunities to practice the greatest characteristics that so many of us seek to aquire. I want nothing more than to be a patient, loving, understaning person - and motherhood gives me a chance to work on these qualities every day. It's not easy, and some days it doesn't feel like its worth it; but it is the job I always wanted and it's the best job ever!