Some Relief

The last few days of this pregnancy have been so much better. I can't tell how much of it comes from an attitude adjustment after this last fabulous General Conference or how much of it is relief from the sickness. I have only vomited once or twice this entire week, which is a record so far, but I have also finally learned the right schedule for taking the pills and have been consistent about remembering to take them. Either way, I am welcoming the relief.

Today I have been able to keep the house pretty clean and even get out our Halloween/Fall decorations. Yesterday I made an outing to the doctors with MaKenzie and ate lunch with Garrett at the school AND I vacuumed! It's funny what you take for granted when you are healthy. I was seriously so grateful to just be able to run the vacuum without throwing up after.

The biggest change that conference has brought is that of having an attitude of gratitude. While I'm still no pro, when I wake in the middle of the night and totally sick I find it so helpful to count my blessings and realize that things could be so much worse; and low and behold I feel strength to keep going with a smile. I've also realized what a difference my attitude makes for Kenzie and Garrett. When I walk around glum and sick rather than trying to smile and be happy, there is a big difference in our home. I may feel like crap, but I don't have to always show it. I can see the relief on Garrett's face when he comes though the door to a smiling wife rather than one that is curled up on the couch looking pale and miserable.

MaKenzie is growing so big. I just can't believe how fast time is going. I was find of giggling to myself yesterday because on all the errands we went on people were saying "Wow, what a cute big girl!" and I'm thinking, no, she's still my baby! But no, she is walking (more like running) everywhere and she definitely has developed her own little personality. She knows what she wants and she can be pretty aggressive if she doesn't get it. I'm also surprised at how confident she is. She has no problem telling people no if she doesn't want them to hold her or come near her. She doesn't toddle shyly to me or Garrett, she just looks them in the eye and says no. She's getting really brave at getting out of mine and Garrett's eyesight as well. Most the time she thinks its funny to see how far she can get from us before we chase her down. She's still my baby in many ways though. This weekend is Fleet Week so there is are two shows of the Blue Angels right down the street from our place in the bay. (You can see them perfectly from our roof and it is REALLY something to see!) Anyway, a bunch of airplanes have been practicing the past few days and it is so loud when they fly over the house that the house will start shaking sometimes. Kenzie is NOT a fan of the rumbles - needless to say, nap time has been a nightmare. Every time she hears them pass she shrieks and runs to me. If anyone says the word airplane now she comes to cuddle with daddy or me. I can't even express how much I love watching her grow and learn.

I never knew a toddler took SO much energy. She is everywhere and into everything all at once. She climbs, runs, and goes over (never around) everything. I have to admit that it is exhausting at the end of most days. It can be hard to be patient and happy with a determined and wired toddler all day. All I can say is I don't know how single moms do it. If it weren't for the few minutes of relief that Garrett can offer me when he comes through the door energized and ready to play, I don't know what I would do. Garrett is such a fabulous father. He always gets down on his hands and knees to play with her and always patiently lets her "help" him with the tasks that he is doing. (She loves doing dishes with daddy, he gives her the silverware to put in the dishwasher and she rearranges them in every way imaginable.)

Anyway, life is beautiful. The blessings way out measure the trials and our family is happy to just be together . . . forever.

Miracle Meds

Well, the last few weeks have proven to be some of the most trying times that I think Garrett and I have faced in a while. My pregnancy wasn't going too well at all. I was throwing up many times a day and I would throw up so violently that I started to spit up blood and pass out. There were so many days that I found that I was just curled up in a ball on the floor praying for the strength to make it through another day. Things got so bad that Garrett and I were considering making some huge changes such as flying Kenzie and out to Utah for an indefinite amount of time while my family helped care for Kenzie and I. We considered quitting the apartment management or hiring a nurse or cleaning person of some sort. All of these options we weren't very happy about due to the fact that it would drain us financially or separate our family.

Just when things were at their worst Garrett I was suddenly getting multiple calls from sisters in the ward. Some would come and take Kenzie to playgroups in the morning hours when the sickness was the worst or some would bring us meals. This truly was an answer to prayer for us. Because of the help of these dear sisters I found that I had just enough strength to make it through the days. The house still wasn't clean and many things didn't get done, but the most important things were getting done and we were getting by. Finally last week we found the right medication that has made life so much more bearable. The medication makes me tired, but I haven't thrown up in three days now so I'm finally getting my strength back as well.

I share this experience because it was a HUGE testimony builder in the end. Every time that one of the sisters would call or show up at my door I would think of the scripture "When ye are in the service of your fellow being you are in the service of your God" I realized how much our Heavenly Father probably wants to wrap his arms around me during those moments of trial and sine he can't right now while we are on this earth He sends us around serving each other. I also learned a great lesson about the spirit in my life. I doubt these sisters were having visions of Garrett and I in tears on our knees begging for help. They just had a kind thought to offer help and they acted on it. I guess the phrase "Still Small Voice" could be called "Subtle Kind Thought". The majority of the time the spirit communicates through a kind thought. A kind thought to admit when you are wrong, a kind thought about how to reach out to a neighbor, or a kind thought about how to do your calling better.

Anyway life is better now. I am so grateful to just have the energy to play with Kenzie without passing out or to call my dad and talk to him again without throwing up. It's amazing how you can take your heath for granted!

Sweet Relief

I have to just document here for a moment the wonderful friends and family that I have in my life. This pregnancy has been a bit of a trial for Garrett and I. Everyone asks if it is worse than last time and it is always a hard question to answer because my life circumstances are so different during these two pregnancies. Last time I was working CRAZY hours which had some crazy side affects such as having zero strength by the end of the day and the nausea was quite severe. This time around the nausea is still intense, but the demands of management aren't as strenuous. This time it's a lot harder emotionally to not be able to clean the house as much. My priorities are to keep Kenzie fed, as entertained as possible, and clean, to stay on top of management duties, and to stay on top of finances. When all of that gets done in a day I find that the day is over!? Plus, cleaning the kitchen and just being in the kitchen is always an extremely nauseating experience, which naturally makes keeping the kitchen clean a little bit difficult. Last pregnancy I didn't have to worry about the house at all. Garrett always got home from his job like two or three hours earlier than me most days which meant that I virtually did zero house cleaning or cooking (I know, I know, how much more fabulous of a husband can you get? I never even asked him to, he just did it!) Anyway, this time its stressful for Garrett because he has his school responsibilities to worry about when he gets home and up until now I have been perfectly fine doing all the house work and cooking. So, its hard to see Garrett more stressed than is necessary.
Well, sweet relief has come these past few weeks through other wonderful people. I was talking to my mom last week about how hard its been and she ended up dropping everything to fly out for five days and take care of me. She cleaned and cooked and cared for Kenzie while I caught up on lots of work and just took care of myself. The result was that I only threw up two or three times the entire week. Then this week my friends in the ward have been phenomenal. Today I had a phone call from my girlfriend Jodi Bauer who was on her way to Costco and insisted on picking me something up that was needed in my kitchen and then she wouldn't let me pay her for the groceries! Today I have had two girlfriends call who have told me that they are going to be at my house on certain days to steal Kenzie for a playdate for a few hours. And another one of my girlfriends showed up with dinner for us tonight. Then there are the Mishlers who are always around at the drop of a coin to take Kenzie or invite us for dinner on the days they know have been difficult for me. I just can't believe how blessed I am to have such wonderful friends and family. I really feel like I don't deserve it. I have learned a great lesson from all of these friends and family members. Often times I find that I offer help to someone by saying "Let me know if I can do anything for you." Well, while my intent is sincere I have really done nothing to act. All of these wonderful friends and family act and say the specific things they are going to do to help me and they do it. I really need to be more proactive in my acts of service from now on and hopefully this morning sickness won't last as long as last time so that I will be in a condition to start serving others soon. :)

About 4 Weeks Old

There is a baby in my belly that is about four weeks old. Yep, we are expecting baby number two. This experience is already so much different than last time. While we were trying to have a baby when MaKenzie was born we never dreamed it would happen so fast, so we weren't really keeping track of cycles and things. This time around I knew right away to take a pregnancy test and it was positive.

We have been trying for about three months now and due to the irregular patterns of my cycles we have had a few let downs when we took a test when my cycle was three weeks late to have it be negative and begin my period the next day. This time it was positive. :)

It's funny to already be noticing the symptoms at such an early stage. Last time around I just thought I had a little stomach digestion problems and I was close to my period which explained the mood swings. I feel a little bit more in control this time that I know what is going on from the very first step.

I have began feeling a little bit more nauseous each day but I find that it is so much easier this time when I can sit down when I need to and give my body time to recover. Last time I was waking up in the early morning hours everyday during the worst times of the sickness and forcing myself to be on the move for 10 and 11 hour days. Napping with Kenzie and snacking and eating meals with Kenzie has definitely been wonderful.

I am so excited to be a mom again. Being apart of a family is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I'm excited to make our family bigger. The joy that comes from a successful home is far greater than any joy I have ever felt in my life. I truly feel blessed to have a wonderful husband and father who is a righteous priesthood holder in my home and the principles of the gospel to help guide what we should do in our home. I love me life. :)