Why?

I knew that children asked a lot of questions. Truth be told, it is one of the things that I love about kids. Their peculiar questions can be quite thought provoking and funny at times. I tend to encourage questions as much as I can. I just don't want my kids to be afraid to ask questions.

So, I was prepared for the question asking phenomenon; but, as is true with all things mothering, I wasn't completely prepared.

Kenzie and I have been working on "good why questions" and "bad why questions" as of late. Let me cue you in on the "good" variety:

Why is the rain falling?

Why does that smell funny?

Why are we a family?

Then there are the "bad" types that usually go down like this:

Mom: (We are trying to scurry out the door) Hey Kenzie will you go sit on the potty so that we don't have accidents when we go out today?

Kenzie: (with that whining irritated tone that seems to indicate that I have made an insanely awful request) Why mom!?

Slowing Down

I'm a busy body. I always have been. I tend to make the mistake of connecting my self-worth to the completed check marks on my to-do list. Anyone else have that problem?

Nothing like a good quote from President Monson to bring things back into perspective today:

"Give your child a compliment and a hug; say, 'I love you' more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved."

("Joy in the Journey" BYU Women's Conference May 2, 2008)

That was a good little kick in the pants for me. I am certainly guilty of getting so caught up in getting a chore or project done that I can easily get frustrated with the constant needs of the girls that interfere with completing just about anything from beginning to end in one sitting. The past few days as I have made efforts just to say "I love you" more often I have definitely seen a change in the feelings of our home. Funny how three little words can have so much influence.

The Price For Sleeping In

Some mornings it takes a lot for me to get out of bed - most particularly those mornings that come after multiple midnight greetings from the kiddies.

Kenzie is my little morning bird and wakes at the same time each day regardless of the previous nights lack of sleep. She has begun to get pretty good at entertaining herself while mommy gets a little bit more shut-eye. She ONLY interrupts me about every ten or fifteen minutes with requests to wipe her bottom, make her breakfast, or generally complain at my length of sleepiness.

I should have known better when my mornings sleepiness went uninterrupted a few weeks back. When I finally rolled out of bed, I walked down the hall to be overwhelmed with the fumes of nail polish. I laughed with gratitude when I saw that the decorating was limited to these fifty cent garage sale shoes and that my walls and carpet had been spared. The weeping and waling were quite elaborate when I informed her that they would have to go in the garbage because mommy did not want to scrub them down with nail polish remover . . .

Unwrapping the Package

Motherhood is a wonderful thing. It builds, strengthens, and edifies. I've never learned to become so much in such a small amount of time. It's blessed my life in more ways that I can count, and probably more ways than I even recognize.

It is also tough.

The tough times are frustrating. When I let those tough times consume me it can leave me entertaining discouraging thoughts about whether or not I am doing ENOUGH. Am I being patient ENOUGH? 'Cuz I can sure give you a few bucket loads (more like truck loads) of instances when my patience levels were sub zero. Am I teaching my girls to be good ENOUGH? 'Cuz there was that time yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that when I was listening to them squabble in the other room for what felt like the hundred and sixty-sixth time that day. I think you get the picture here . . .

In the midst of one of those frustrating moments last week I was grateful for a little pick-me-up from Sister Julie B. Beck and her daughters. I have been enjoying a little radio talk show called "Conversations" on the mormon radio channel. "Conversations" is a great little show that interviews prominent leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in a more personal manner.

There was a lot of comfort in simple fact that this interview grants the listeners the opportunity to recognize that these inspired and wonderful leaders of our church are regular every day people just like me. We all know that, but it's always reassuring to be reminded of it.

The greatest snippet of encouragement came to me as Sister Dew talked about raising her children. She described the process of raising her children as "unwrapping a package". They came to this earth as the great people that they already were and she commented that it was her privilege to simply do her best to unwrap them.

I loved this! It is just an optimistic way to look at the personalities of my children. They really are this wonderful gift from my Heavenly Father that I get to discover a little bit more each day. While I must admit that sometimes the unwrapping is a bit messy and unpleasant it is also equally gratifying and enjoyable.

If you want to listen to the interview yourself click HERE.

Number Three Anybody?

No, this isn't an announcement - at least not that I know of, it is always a possibility right?

Garrett and I have just been starting to discuss another baby as of late. We've been going along for quite some time now thinking that there was a possibility that we could be done. The friends and family that I shared this with said that it wouldn't happen and that we were bound to have more children. So, here I am eating my words and thinking about baby Chappell number three.

I must admit this one is a toughie. You see, we know EXACTLY what we are getting ourselves into now. With Kenzie and Jordyn there was a whole lot of unknowns and a whole lot of learning as you go. While I know that there is always more to learn, we are still well educated on natural child birth - the unplanned kind where you think you are going to get an epidural but oops, no, wait, the baby is born 54 minutes after the first contraction so lets just pray to get to a hospital on time. We know all about the lack of sleep, the nine months of pregnancy, the midnight feedings, and the doubled laundry load all from a little person at least half the size of everyone else in the house.

To add to the toughness there is the haunting idea out there that number three is this like catapulting yourself into this insane state of parenthood in which the children outnumber the parents.

On the flip side we know that there is nothing sweeter than watching your spouse hold a new infant in their arms and care for that precious baby. There is nothing sweeter than knowing that you can provide that baby with a stable home - a bit quirky, but stable nonetheless. There is nothing more inspiring than bearing a baby and watching that baby grow inside of you. And there is no better way to learn the great characteristics of patience, love, and long-suffering than by becoming a parent.

So here we are grappling with the beginnings of becoming baby hungry as we hold the sweet little babies of our good friends and having a pretty good idea of just how much it takes to add to your family. While I know the hardness of the step won't keep us from adding to our family, it is still just a funny place to find ourselves in. I'm sure we will happily take on the challenges associated with adding to our family (most days anyway) but it sure is a funny place to be standing right now.

Now don't get me wrong here, I am not trying to paint this all awful picture of parenthood. As is true with all things in life - the things that take the most effort reep the greatest reward and are well worth the challenge. And at the end of those storm clouds is a rainbow and some life lessons learned that are well worth effort! :)

Top Five Fridays - Genius Diversion

It's the last few hours of the day. Everyone is hungry, getting tired, and restless. Sound familiar? If not, you're going to have to clue me in; it's practically a nightly occurrence at our house.

Well, here are five little bits of geniusness that I've read about and stolen from other moms. (I always laugh when someone compliments me on an amazing idea; if amazing is what you get for copying or tweaking another person's great idea, then I guess I am the queen of amazing.)

1. Crayola BathCrayons. I got this one from my mother-in-law. She sent some of these in a package to the girls a few months back and I tell ya, it is like she is babysitting my kids from 3,000 miles away. They are so happy. I can sit outside the bathroom door with a book or my guitar for what feels like hours! (In mommy land, twenty minutes of happy children that aren't asking for something can truly feel like hours.) I must warn you that these bad boys can stain the grout in your tub if you are not faithful about wiping off the walls that the kids colored on - well worth the effort in my opinion.

2. Want to make bath time quite time? Impossible you might say? Not at all. Give them each a succor. When my girlfriend Heather told me about this one I must admit that I thought it was kind of gross. I thought "ew, they will dip it in the water and they are surrounded in their own filth". Then I quickly realized that my kids drink the bath water during every bath anyway. No matter how many times I say "Icky water, you don't want to drink it" they quickly forget. Well, I choose my battles and don't enforce this one. I'm sure they've put things in their mouth that I am unaware of that is much worse than their own bath water.

3. Painting the fence. At least that is what they THINK they are doing. Give the kids a bucket of water and some paint brushes and tell them to paint the fence. By the time they get all the way to other end you can point out that somehow their "paint" has "mysteriously" disappeared and they need to start all over again. Entertainment for a full hour the first time we tried it at our house! This one is thanks to my girlfriend Amanda whose mother-in-law clued her in on this mothering trick of the trade.

4. Saran wrap. It can do more than just make you mad for not sticking to everything it is supposed to stick to, only to do a fabulous job of sticking to itself instead. Saran wrap a big section of your sliding door windows and then equip your crazy kids with stickers and dry erase markers and let the fun begin. It peals right off when you are done. I have not done this one myself, but my friend Heather did this one day while watching my kids and they loved it.

5. "The Special Box" I read about this one in a book. Gather some favorite toys and books or anything to your liking and put it in a box. Let the kids decorate it and pronounce it "The Special Box". The box only comes our during certain times when mother needs it (i.e. when you want to pull your hair out). It amazes me what can be done with a few things that are just lying around in your house and calling it "special" can do.

Jordynisms - Her Favorite Place

While I sat here typing this morning cute little Jordyn came to my side and asked me if I could help her with the "back - ee - ard".

Being the mom it can take a few seconds to register and a few more questions to identify the need. My first thought was that she was referring to a broken arm? That obviously didn't make a lick of sense due to the fact that no tears were involved in her request. I quickly came to realize that she needed help getting into the backyard.

It must have the the three syllables for a two sylllable word that threw me off . . .

Kenzisms - Rhyming Words

Kenzie is on a rhyming kick lately. She loves to ask me if two words rhyme. In all honestly it can sometimes approach obnoxiousness - but being the good moms that we are we tend to smile and praise fifty and sixty times even though inside we are anxiously looking for a way to distract them to a new idea. (And maybe even restraining ourselves from screaming curses and pleas to stop their never ending redundancy?)

Well, it has gotten quite funny to listen to her rhymes as of late. She topped it off at dinner last night when Garrett was sitting down to the table and she licked her spoon and quickly announced a wonderful rhyming word for lick.

Garrett and I just shared that secret laughing exchange of glances and went on with the meal. Nothing like a four year old to mix things up.

Faith Is Like a Little Seed

Last month in primary our weekly sharing times were centered around the fourth article of faith, which reads:

"We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second,Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost."

As a primary the children planted a few seeds and the plant was brought back each week to see how it had grown. As we did this I thought, "Hey! I can do that too!" (I really did think that with exclamation marks attached).

So, I went on my merry way to the grocery store one evening that week and bought all the stuff to plant our own little seeds. I have to tell you, I was clueless. This was the first experience that I have ever had with planting anything. The selection of soil alone had me staring in amazement. Who knew there were so many options for putting your precious plants in and how on earth was I to know which one to select. Well, being on a budget I went with what was in the smallest bag and also the cheapest. I was only planning on four small pots - so the 25 pounders were at least giving me one easy way to cut my options. I won't even begin to explain my distress when I came to the seed and potting varieties. Lets just say that I was there for a bit longer than I had originally intended.

Well, I finally selected some daisies and cosmos. I didn't even know what a cosmo was until I saw a pretty picture of it with a nice friendly label on top on the seed envelope - this was truly proving to be educational.

We did a simple little family home evening on what it means to have faith and we planted our seeds. I must say that it has been really fun to do. Every time we go out to water our little plants we have a little chat about how we have to build our faith in Jesus Christ with prayer, and by keeping the commandments, and with scripture study so that it will grow strong just like the seed needs water and air and soil to grow. I can't really attest to how much of it is seeping into their little brains. They are usually more concerned about getting equal opportunities with the watering can; but, I tend to try to have faith in the fact that these little lessons are the basis for something much bigger. :)

So there you go. A trip to the grocery store and you're good to go with your next family home evening. Oh, and if you are worried about not remembering to water your plants and letting your little seeds die just like every other plant you've ever tended; no worries there, your children will be so thrilled with the whole thing that they will be asking to water them at least five times a day.

Disproportionate

I was just innocently glancing through my labels wondering if I should shorten the amount that I have, or rename some of them, and generally just doing a little re-evaluation of the blog.

I must admit that I was a little bit embarrassed to see that the little number next to "The Frustrations" currently DOUBLES the number next the "The Joys".

Suddenly I found myself feeling guilty. My thought process was something like, "Geesh, some mom you are to be noticing all these negative things about mothering instead of constantly celebrating the good!"

Then my thought jumped to a thought from President Gordon B. Hinckley. He taught that life is like a journey on a train ride. There are only bits and pieces of the journey where the breathtaking scenery bursts into your view. (I tried to find the exact quote to no avail, so that little paraphrase will have to do; along with a little hope that I am giving credit where credit it due).

So, rather than wallow in wonderment as to whether or not I am a negative person who is not appreciating motherhood for all its glorious moments, I am going to go with the thought that motherhood is just like that train ride - every now and then something absolutely joyful bursts into view that makes you remember that you are doing a sacred and wonderful work.

The Motherhood Slump

I am coming out of a motherhood slump. The past few weeks of mothering have been particularly difficult. There isn't really any real reason that I can clearly state for this. Only that the tears, the frustrations, and the heartache of it all have felt more burdensome than I have ever felt before. I've mostly been frustrated with the fact that I have been frustrated. I know that I would never want to be in any other place than where I am now. Being a wife and mother are the most treasured thing that I will ever be - so to be frustrated with the daily challenges of mothering is just downright frustrating. (I know I should go consult a thesaurus or something in order to avoid over-usage here, but sometimes there is just one word that describes it so perfectly . . . FRUSTRATION.)

As I have pulled out of the slump I have been reminded of a few truths that have anchored me back into place.

The first truth comes from President Thomas S. Monson.

"Occasionally discouragement may darken our pathway; frustration may be a constant companion. In our ears, we may hear . . . Satan as he whispers, 'Your efforts cannot save the world; your small efforts are meaningless." (Peace, 50)

As I read these sweet words from a prophet of God I realized just how much I have given into Satan's whispers. I often feel like I am not enough as a mother and wife. No one in this house is telling me that I am not adding up; nor is my Heavenly Father. The feelings of guilt and discouragement come from one being alone - the author of all lies.

Sister Patricia Holland said

"If I were Satan and wanted to destroy a society, I think I would stage a full-blown blitz on women. I would keep them so distraught and distracted that they would never find the calming strength and serenity for which their gender has always been known." (Earth As It Is In Heaven, 85)

Both of these quotes come from a fabulous book called "I Am a Mother" by Jane Clayson Johnson. The author helped me to remember that this calling of motherhood is absolutely divine. What I do within the walls of my home is celebrated in heaven and recognized by a loving Heavenly Father.

My final truth comes from scripture that states that we should not run faster than our feet can carry us. To me this scripture is about avoiding burning ourselves out. I've done that as a mom. I tend to feel so overwhelmed with all the responsibilities of house hold chores and raising children that I can forget to relax and do the things that I enjoy. I can't be a good mom without being me first. I can't be a good mom if it means giving up the things that I enjoy. While I must be careful not to go to the extreme of neglecting all my duties to pursue my hobbies; I must also be careful not to give up all my hobbies to fulfill my duties.

So here I am tonight doing something I love . . . writing. The kitchen is a mess from the days meals and dishes that I was not able to clean as I went through the day, the toys are not put away, the sharing time still needs to be planned, there is plenty of packing to be done, and I could bore you all night long with my "un-done list". Sometimes I need to stop and be me. If I don't let myself be me then the monster version of me can quickly take control. And no one likes the monster version of a mommy - ESPECIALLY the mommy.

Jordynisms - Proper Identification

I never realized how many silly names I have for my children. There is little lady, silly goose, funny honey, crazy kid, and others that aren't always quite as kind.

I came to this realization of abundant nicknames a few weeks back when Jordyn and I had the following conversation:

Mommy: "Come on you silly girl, let's get going."

Jordyn: "Mommy, I not a silly girl."

Mommy: "Well, then what are you then?"

Jordyn: (With a big toothy grin) "I'm Jordyn."

Now just about anytime that I call her a silly name we have this exchange.

Kenzie's Newest Conversation

• "ree-dic-lee-lus" = ridiculous (it is so funny to hear her trying to use the big words that I use in my every day language)
• "anilla" = vanilla
• A few days ago I got around to cleaning the playroom before the girls were up. When Kenzie came in she shrieked "Wow! It is clean in my whole life!"
• Kenzie has developed a fondness for Strawberry Shortcake (the cartoon character). The other night at dinner she randomely turned to me and asked "Mama, you know who makes strawberries?" I was expecting an answer like Heavenly Father, or dirt, or its a plant, but no . . . she quickly announced "Strawberry Shortcake".

Jk's Newest Phrases

A few mornings back Jordyn woke up with the hic-ups. While I was dressing her I asked her where her hic-ups came from. She looked at me like I was absolutely crazy, pointed at her mouth and said, "In my mouth mommy".

Anyone know what a "no-ga bar" is? - if it weren't for the fact that she can say bar clearly it would have taken me a LONG time to translate this one into granola bar

Jordynisms - Her Favorite Word

NOOOOOO!

Every mother of a two year-old is well acquainted with this word . . . right?

Please say yes.

Kenzisms - Manners

I don't know what it is about my children starting out a sentence with the words "I want" or "Can I" that bothers me. I truly don't even notice when another child does it, but when my own kids begin their requests with "Mom, I want . . . " or "Mom, can I . . . " I find myself wincing.

So, I often prompt my children to say "May I" before their little requests. I feel that I have to prompt them more often than not to use this small form of good manners.

Sigh.

I wish it weren't so.

I wish they just used the sweet little "May I" phrase without my help.

But practice makes perfect and we practice a lot, so I should be optimistic right?

So, here is where the Kenzism comes into play.

A typical conversation would go as follows:

Kenzie: (often with a whiny or demanding tone) Mom, can I have some milk?

Mom: (Gives Kenzie the half smile and the raised eyebrow which the children know mean they either need to say please, sorry, thank-you or may I. They are often guilty of goes through all four in a rushed fashion in hopes to hurry the process along) How do you ask nicely?

Kenzie: (With a big goofy smile and in a sing-song voice) May I can I have some milk pleeeeease?

I didn't type that incorrectly if you were having to take a second read through there. Kenzie cracks me up by saying May I and Can I all in the same sentence, and I don't know why, it just makes me giggle. Garrett and I were trying to correct her error a few weeks ago when we looked at each other and realized that we didn't WANT to change it because it can make us laugh so hard. She'll figure it out all in good time . . .

Kenzisms - A New Discovery

While eating our lunch today of chicken nuggets and french fries Kenzie took a a big bite of her chicken nugget and then looked at her nugget with great surprise. She then exclaimed:

"Hey Mom!" (with an intonation of great discovery) "There is chicken in my chicken nugget!"

Apparently up 'til now the chicken nugget has just been some mystery food that every kid in America finds satisfying . . . today it actually became a food that has chicken in it. :)