"Great, now I have Guilt"

Anyone who has a toddler who is obsessed with all Disney-Pixar films would know that "Great, now I have guilt" is what Rex says after the toys from Andy's toy room push Woody off the moving truck . . . ah, the things you learn as a mother.

Last night as I was falling asleep I was thinking of the guilt that all mothers seem to feel. It really doesn't make sense that we feel this guilt seeing how we are really quite a spectacular group of people. We give of ourselves in every single way possible. We sacrifice our time, our bodies, our talents, many luxuries, and who knows what else for our kids who we love so much. And we do it with very little complaint. In the end our work turns out to be the greatest that anyone could offer. Behind every great leader, every inventor, every good person is a mother who made sacrifices in one way or another (even if that mother was a lousy mother they at least gave that person life and went through the pregnancy and birthing process!). Now, I don't mean to be one of those "Praise me, I'm a mother, and you should appreciate it all that I do for you" kind of people. I only wish to point out that when all is said and done we really do some remarkable things as mothers, and all the guilt we feel for all the things we DON"T do is really a waste of time and emotion.

For example, in the last few weeks of being a mother of two I have felt guilty for the following:

1. Pressing play on the VCR too many times. My toddler has scenes from her favorite movies memorized and I manage to feel guilty for that quite often. I disregard the fact that she's learned a lot from educational TV. I disregard the fact that I truly am so physically tired at times that leaving the TV off and my toddler un-entertained would result in tears for everyone, and I disregard the fact that turning on the TV does not inevitably make me a bad mother - its not like we're watching trashy television!

2. I feel guilty for how much my husband is helping. Now this one I know is completely ridiculous because it is absolutely fabulous that my husband is one of those men who is a huge help with chores. I rarely clean the bathroom, he does laundry when he sees it needs to be done, he does dishes, he prepares meals, and he always takes out the trash before I can even notice it has a need for being emptied. It really is a wonderful blessing, but somehow I manage to find reason to feel guilt for all he does. I seem to think that its my job to do all household chores and I convince myself at times that a "good mom" does ALL the chores WITHOUT any help - ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. But I still batter myself with the guilt bat with this one quite frequently.

3. I have felt guilty for my toddlers recent tendency to throw temper tantrums. I feel like its my fault and that I am doing something to trigger this. Or, should we be realistic and realize that my toddler is going through a huge change as she welcomes a new baby sister into the home, and she is already at that stage when she understands EVERYTHING around her but lacks the ability to effectively communicate what she wants - I think I would be throwing a few temper tantrums too. I fail to see the reality and replace reality with guilt.

The list could could go on to be quite long, but you get the picture. Why do we do this to ourselves? I really don't know the answer to that question; but I'm sure going to try and remember that I am a pretty dang cool person for giving of myself the way that I do and I'll try to forget about those very insignificant things that I manage to feel guilty for.