Frazzled Mom

I hope I am not the only mom out there who feels like this some days:

Do you just have those days when you feel like the baby won't stop fussing over the dumbest things or when nothing seems to be going right? I came across this little cartoon today and I just had to laugh!

It just makes me feel good that I am not the only mom out there that has these days. I tend to have this perfect image of so many of my good friends as mothers. They are fantastic at being a homemaker, at having fun with their kids, at being patient with their kids, at getting out with their kids, and at balancing being a wife and a mother - all the things I hope and strive to be. It just makes me feel better that even those moms who I view as my supreme examples have frazzled days when emotions are high and the to do list seems to be impossible.

The Toddler Stage

I know I have not completely made it through the toddler stage yet, but I have still have a lot to love about it:

1. Like I said in the picture, she is always discovering something with a big smile.

2. The most simple things are just so fascinating to a toddler. In fact, this gal is the reason why I entitled our family blog "The Simple Things". She is always teaching me that there is so much happiness to have from the simple things in life. For example, these are some of the simple things that give her so much pleasure: getting tickled by daddy, reading a book with mommy, emptying a drawer ten times in a row, or letting sand fall through her fingers. Can we learn a lesson from that or what? Life is full of happiness if we just stop and enjoy what's right in front of us rather than constantly seeking for something ahead of us.

3. The belly laugh. Oh the silly things we will do to make a toddler laugh!

4. The squeal of excitement for a friend who has come to visit or for daddy when he walks through the door at the end of the day.

5. The baby babble. I LOVE the baby babble. They really ARE saying something and I know she understands almost everything I am saying. I am excited for the day that she can communicate with me better, but the baby babble is so much fun.

6. Have you ever noticed that they can do the same thing over and over and over again and not loose interest?

7. My favorite thing to date about toddlers is how much they love their mommies and daddies. When MaKenzie was a newborn anyone could hold her and care for her, but now it is mommy and daddy who she runs to when she is hurt and mommy and daddy are the only ones she will snuggle with (only when she is in the mood of course, which is usually only when she is really tired or sick - but hey, I will take what I can get!) and of course, mommy and daddy were among the first words she learned! :)

The Newborn Stage

I have been reading this book called The Toddler Busy Book that is jam packed with great ideas about what to do with a busy toddler. In the book the writer talks about enjoying every stage of your child's life because they grow up so fast. As I paused to think I realized how many great things there really are in each stage. It's so easy to dwell on the exhaustion, the healing from the pregnancy, and the other discomforts of a newborn; but when you stop and think there are so many more amazing things! I just need to be better at remember the amazing rather than the miserable. The way people hear me talk sometimes they must wonder if I even like being a mom!


Here are the wonderful things that I remember about a newborn:

1. They cuddle with you endlessly for as long as you want.

2. That first smile is a heart melter.

3. They seem so in awe at the world around them. It is so fun to sit and watch them just look at everything around them taking it in for the first time.

4. Nursing, while painful and frustrating at times, is such a neat bonding experience with your baby. It's just you and baby time and it's something that you can do for your baby that no one else can. I don't mean to sound like a crazy "nipple nazi" - as my doctor used to refer to them - but nursing really is a neat experience.

5. The newborn cry - while it was usually a cause for distress at the time, now when I hear one it just makes me smile. There is no cry like a newborn cry. I have a feeling that the newborn cry is the only cry that will ALWAYS mean that your baby truly is in need of you. Now crying can mean that I am needed, but it can also include a range of temper tantrums and the funny fake cry!

6. Everyone loves a newborn! While I was super anal about germs - there was always a good prideful feeling that I got when someone wanted to look at or hold MaKenzie. Everyone just has such nice things to say about how beautiful your newborn is and I loved that feeling!

7. Finally, the best memory I have my newborn was the first time I held her. The love that you have for that little baby is beyond description. I always knew I loved my children and I always looked forward to having them, but nothing could prepare for the overpowering feeling of love and protection that overwhelms you when you and your husband get to hold that infant in your arms for the first time.

Me Time

There is church time, feeding baby time, cleaning baby time, cleaning house time, management duties time, daddy and mommy time, dressing baby time, changing baby time, playing with baby time, cooking time, grocery shopping time, and the list goes on and on and on. Homemaking is a busy twenty-four hour a day job and I am finally getting better at including something very important in my busy schedule: me time.

This week I have set a special goal for myself to take at least thirty minutes out of the day to do WHATEVER I want while MaKenzie is napping. Usually nap time tends to be a time when I am rushing around the house like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get as many things done without waking up the baby (which is difficult to do for someone like me who gets really clumsy and forgetful when I'm stressed and tends to run into walls and drop things which wakes up the baby).

I have to testify to the fact that me time is a definate must for my sanity. I have noticed that I am so much more full of energy when I have taken that time for me to take a long bath, read a book, waste my time on the internet or whatever else I darn well please. I'm happier when Garrett gets home, I'm more excited to get MaKenzie out of her crib and take care of her after she is finished napping, and I'm less stressed. Many moms have probably already figured out this trick and I can now say that it works wonders!

Litte Teeth BIG Fits

I hate to begin my first "Mommy Moment" with words of frustration, but such is the moment and there is usually a lot to be learned from the frustrations of life . . .

Up til now teething hasn't been what I would call pleasant, but it hasn't been awful either. Well, we crossed over the line into the awful territory this past week.

My sister Virginia came into town this last week for a visit while MaKenzie was pushing through two top teeth. The midnight wake-up calls and the need to gnaw on things wasn't any different than the last teething moments; but the fits, the constant crying, and the attitude were definitely new elements. One morning she cried for almost two hours straight over the silliest things. If I picked her up when she didn't want to be picked up, put her down when she didn't want to be put down, fed her when she wanted to feed herself I was informed of MaKenzie's displeasure with a full red in the face, arch of the back temper tantrum that often ended in her hitting her head on something which increased the volume of the crying (which I didn't think she could be any louder at that point as it was!) She wouldn't let my poor sister near her all week and she wouldn't let me out of her sight. My least favorite moments had to be when my sister and I were in a restaurant and she would be perfectly happy one moment and then throwing food across the restaurant the next.

The good news is that we made it and that MaKenzie is back to her regular non-tantrum self, and in the process I have even learned a few lessons:

1. When your baby has been crying for so long and you have done EVERYTHING in your power to offer comfort and relief, it is OKAY to set them in the crib and separate yourself from your child for a little while. It offered me a lot of relief to just not have a screaming baby in my arms, say a little prayer, shed a few tears if needed, and then get myself back into action. At the time I felt awful just letting my baby who in obvious pain role in her crib while screaming - but those moments that I had to just wash my face and get ready for the day gave me the energy to get through the rest of the tantrums with more patience and love.

2. Don't stay cooped up in the house. Every mom is different I think on this one - but I am so grateful that my sister was out here for the week because we got out and did things that served as the best distraction for Kenzie's irritability. I felt bad that my sister had to deal with the tears and midnight tantrums - but she saved my sanity by being here and just giving me company and something to do! Don't just stay home! Do something to get out and ease your frustration and the babies!

And finally, here are my teething tips that worked for MaKenzie. While every child is different I would like to have this on record in case I forget for future children:

1. MaKenzie would never have anything to do with a teething ring or toy, but she loved sucking on a damp wash cloth that I had placed in the freezer for a few moments. Sometimes I would even pour apple juice on the wash cloth when she wouldn't take it at first. While this usually only worked for about twenty minutes - lets be honest, twenty minutes is twenty minutes.

2. Like I said before, offer distraction with a walk around the block or a new book or toy. While their attitude may not indicate a desire to be outdoors, the outdoors can serve as a distraction for a while. (Maybe stay close to home on your outings though so that if the tantrums begin you can get home quickly.)

3. Make sue you time the Children's Tylenol about 30 minutes before bedtime. This way once they are settling into bed the medicine has taken effect. Trust me - I learned the hard way the first few nights.

The Inspiration

The inspiration for this blog came shortly after General Conference a few weeks back after Elder M. Russell Ballard gave his fantastic talk entitled "Daughters of God". His remarks were focused on young mothers. While all of his remarks were absolutely fantastic, one part of his talk served as the inspiration for this little blog. He organized his talk into four questions that he responded to with his "four generations" of wisdom and observations. The first question that he responded to was "What can you do, as a young mother, to reduce the pressure and enjoy your family more?". One of his bits of advice in response to this questions was as follows: "Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction." He then goes on to encourage us not to over schedule ourselves and to be sure to savor those moments in our children's lives.

Since listening to President Ballard's talk I have found myself looking at motherhood and it's daily tasks through completely different lenses. I realize how many learning moments and life moments there are to just pause and enjoy and ponder on. They are those little moments when Garrett gets home and when I take the time to get excited with MaKenzie about Daddy walking through the door, rather than getting too focused on the dinner I'm pulling together or the telephone that is ringing. They are those little moments when I need to pause and get down on my hands and knees and just play with MaKenzie and watch her learn and grow rather than being so concerned about the next thing on my to do list. Since I have put on these "new lenses" I have found motherhood less challenging and more enjoyable. I'm not as wound up at the end of the day, and I'm not as worried about what else needs to be done. (And guess what - it all gets done anyway WITHOUT the worries - surprise, surprise there huh?) I have slowed life down a little bit to enjoy each interaction with my family as much as I can.

While this blog most likely won't be filled with all the happy moments, I feel that I can learn from recording these small events in my day and maybe even have something to pass onto my daughters who will one day find themselves dealing with the daily challenges of motherhood . . .