Sweet Relief

I have to just document here for a moment the wonderful friends and family that I have in my life. This pregnancy has been a bit of a trial for Garrett and I. Everyone asks if it is worse than last time and it is always a hard question to answer because my life circumstances are so different during these two pregnancies. Last time I was working CRAZY hours which had some crazy side affects such as having zero strength by the end of the day and the nausea was quite severe. This time around the nausea is still intense, but the demands of management aren't as strenuous. This time it's a lot harder emotionally to not be able to clean the house as much. My priorities are to keep Kenzie fed, as entertained as possible, and clean, to stay on top of management duties, and to stay on top of finances. When all of that gets done in a day I find that the day is over!? Plus, cleaning the kitchen and just being in the kitchen is always an extremely nauseating experience, which naturally makes keeping the kitchen clean a little bit difficult. Last pregnancy I didn't have to worry about the house at all. Garrett always got home from his job like two or three hours earlier than me most days which meant that I virtually did zero house cleaning or cooking (I know, I know, how much more fabulous of a husband can you get? I never even asked him to, he just did it!) Anyway, this time its stressful for Garrett because he has his school responsibilities to worry about when he gets home and up until now I have been perfectly fine doing all the house work and cooking. So, its hard to see Garrett more stressed than is necessary.
Well, sweet relief has come these past few weeks through other wonderful people. I was talking to my mom last week about how hard its been and she ended up dropping everything to fly out for five days and take care of me. She cleaned and cooked and cared for Kenzie while I caught up on lots of work and just took care of myself. The result was that I only threw up two or three times the entire week. Then this week my friends in the ward have been phenomenal. Today I had a phone call from my girlfriend Jodi Bauer who was on her way to Costco and insisted on picking me something up that was needed in my kitchen and then she wouldn't let me pay her for the groceries! Today I have had two girlfriends call who have told me that they are going to be at my house on certain days to steal Kenzie for a playdate for a few hours. And another one of my girlfriends showed up with dinner for us tonight. Then there are the Mishlers who are always around at the drop of a coin to take Kenzie or invite us for dinner on the days they know have been difficult for me. I just can't believe how blessed I am to have such wonderful friends and family. I really feel like I don't deserve it. I have learned a great lesson from all of these friends and family members. Often times I find that I offer help to someone by saying "Let me know if I can do anything for you." Well, while my intent is sincere I have really done nothing to act. All of these wonderful friends and family act and say the specific things they are going to do to help me and they do it. I really need to be more proactive in my acts of service from now on and hopefully this morning sickness won't last as long as last time so that I will be in a condition to start serving others soon. :)

About 4 Weeks Old

There is a baby in my belly that is about four weeks old. Yep, we are expecting baby number two. This experience is already so much different than last time. While we were trying to have a baby when MaKenzie was born we never dreamed it would happen so fast, so we weren't really keeping track of cycles and things. This time around I knew right away to take a pregnancy test and it was positive.

We have been trying for about three months now and due to the irregular patterns of my cycles we have had a few let downs when we took a test when my cycle was three weeks late to have it be negative and begin my period the next day. This time it was positive. :)

It's funny to already be noticing the symptoms at such an early stage. Last time around I just thought I had a little stomach digestion problems and I was close to my period which explained the mood swings. I feel a little bit more in control this time that I know what is going on from the very first step.

I have began feeling a little bit more nauseous each day but I find that it is so much easier this time when I can sit down when I need to and give my body time to recover. Last time I was waking up in the early morning hours everyday during the worst times of the sickness and forcing myself to be on the move for 10 and 11 hour days. Napping with Kenzie and snacking and eating meals with Kenzie has definitely been wonderful.

I am so excited to be a mom again. Being apart of a family is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I'm excited to make our family bigger. The joy that comes from a successful home is far greater than any joy I have ever felt in my life. I truly feel blessed to have a wonderful husband and father who is a righteous priesthood holder in my home and the principles of the gospel to help guide what we should do in our home. I love me life. :)

I need to vent . . .

I am just having one of those moments that I really just need a second to complain and express some silly concerns that have been piling up lately. I want to let it out but I don't really want to bother anyone with such trivial momentary feelings, but I also feel that I can get over it a little bit if I organize my thoughts in a little bit of a journal entry here. It's funny, but writing down my thoughts, especially the worrisome ones, can be very therapeutic for me. Anyway, here it goes.

Do you ever worry if you are being a good enough mom? I am just having one of those days where I worry. The world is getting uglier and uglier and I as a mother have a responsibility to raise children to be in the world and not of the world. I worry that I'm not being a good enough example by getting to easily frustrated some days and too frazzled others. I worry that I won't be able to create a loving relationship in my home where there is an open line of communication between me and my children. I worry that I am not disciplining enough or being patient enough. I know it's not good to worry, and it's not like I let these worries overwhelm me, it's just something that crosses my mind sometimes and especially concerns me on more emotional and stressful days such as today.

I know these silly worries and just the adversary's way of trying to convince me that I am not a good enough mother. Oh how he would love if I were to always dwell on these things rather than focusing on my children. I know that as Garrett and I pray each day and keep the commandments in holding FHE and family scripture study and prayer that there are great promises in our grasp, I now that having a close family means spends quality and quantity time together and that being a good mother comes as I simply do everything within my power to make sacrifices for my children to be with them every step of the way as they grow and develop. But, it's so easy to forget that when I am stressed with tons of apartment stuff, just returning from a vacation, finding out our insurance has been cancelled for some strange reason, when I am concerned for family members who are making poor decision and seeing them unhappy, and all the other tiny burdens of life.

I have a SUPER bad habit of comparing myself to other moms as well. I see the cute little things they do with things that they do with their kids and I worry that I am not doing enough. I see other kids already learning to be potty trained or learning to count and at first I think "They're only 15 months, there is plenty of time for that later" but then there is that little nagging voice that says "Maybe I should be doing that too, is my kid is going to get behind?" Comparing myself to others has never gotten me anything but upset and I know it is a bad habit, but some days it's harder than others.

Well, there is my venting session for the day. These are all such silly petty concerns that I know aren't true, but it is nice to write it down and just move on . . . :)

A Miracle

Not a day passes that I am not completely in awe at my beautiful daughter. Often times I find myself just pausing for a moment to look at Kenzie and I find myself overwhelmed with a spirit of gratitude which often brings tears to my eyes. She is such a miracle in my life. The past fifteen months of my life have been filled with so much more meaning. As a mother I feel a deep responsibility to be an example to my children and I find that because of this loving responsibility I am so much more motivated to do everything I can to improve my talents and work on my weaknesses. I have never felt such a desire to be a better person - especially when I see how much my example wears on MaKenzie. When I am in a short snippy mood Kenzie quickly follows, when I am laughing a giggling she is full of squeels. Just the other day I was playing with her and I had a toy that I kept grabbing from her because she would laugh everytime I snached in out of her hand. Well, now she seems to think that snapping anything out of anyones hand is appropriate whether it be another baby's toy or mommy's scissors. It's crazy how quickly she learns!

MaKenzie is recently learning to walk. She has been taking a few steps here and there for about three or four weeks now, but it hasn't been until this week that she is randomly standing up to just walk around the house. Everytime she stands to walk I can't take my eyes off of her. It is so fun just watching her toddle along with her tongue sticking out in concentration or a big smail on her face as she lunges towards me.

Aunt Virginia is in town this week with her friend Aubrey for their senior trip. She seems to be doing a lot better interacting with her in her own house. (We went out for the actual graduation a few weeks ago and she wouldn't let anyone touch her without some major temper tantrums.) I hope that we can always be close with our families even if they are far away. Garrett and I don't know where we will settle, but having family in town always makes me want to be sure that we are close to family. It's fun to see Kenzie forming an attachment to Viriginia. I love that Ginny and I have become such close friends too. My parents did such a good job at teaching Ginny and I the importance of our relationship as sisters even though we were five years apart. I really hope that I can do the same for our children. I don't know how many times that I got the lecture that my sister is the one friend that I will always have around and how many times I just sat there rolling my eyes wanting to go off and be with my friends. In the end - with the exception of a few friends that I still keep in contact with - my parents were right. Even with those friends that I keep in contact with the relationship that I have with them now isn't the same as the friendship that Ginny and I have. We can talk and laugh about anything without any worries about saying something wrong or offending each other. Even when we do offend each other we are quick to forgive and forget and move on. I really hope our kids will have that with their siblings.

Anyway, all of this typing on our loud old keyboard is waking up Kenzie, so I best be off . . .

Frazzled Mom

I hope I am not the only mom out there who feels like this some days:

Do you just have those days when you feel like the baby won't stop fussing over the dumbest things or when nothing seems to be going right? I came across this little cartoon today and I just had to laugh!

It just makes me feel good that I am not the only mom out there that has these days. I tend to have this perfect image of so many of my good friends as mothers. They are fantastic at being a homemaker, at having fun with their kids, at being patient with their kids, at getting out with their kids, and at balancing being a wife and a mother - all the things I hope and strive to be. It just makes me feel better that even those moms who I view as my supreme examples have frazzled days when emotions are high and the to do list seems to be impossible.

The Toddler Stage

I know I have not completely made it through the toddler stage yet, but I have still have a lot to love about it:

1. Like I said in the picture, she is always discovering something with a big smile.

2. The most simple things are just so fascinating to a toddler. In fact, this gal is the reason why I entitled our family blog "The Simple Things". She is always teaching me that there is so much happiness to have from the simple things in life. For example, these are some of the simple things that give her so much pleasure: getting tickled by daddy, reading a book with mommy, emptying a drawer ten times in a row, or letting sand fall through her fingers. Can we learn a lesson from that or what? Life is full of happiness if we just stop and enjoy what's right in front of us rather than constantly seeking for something ahead of us.

3. The belly laugh. Oh the silly things we will do to make a toddler laugh!

4. The squeal of excitement for a friend who has come to visit or for daddy when he walks through the door at the end of the day.

5. The baby babble. I LOVE the baby babble. They really ARE saying something and I know she understands almost everything I am saying. I am excited for the day that she can communicate with me better, but the baby babble is so much fun.

6. Have you ever noticed that they can do the same thing over and over and over again and not loose interest?

7. My favorite thing to date about toddlers is how much they love their mommies and daddies. When MaKenzie was a newborn anyone could hold her and care for her, but now it is mommy and daddy who she runs to when she is hurt and mommy and daddy are the only ones she will snuggle with (only when she is in the mood of course, which is usually only when she is really tired or sick - but hey, I will take what I can get!) and of course, mommy and daddy were among the first words she learned! :)

The Newborn Stage

I have been reading this book called The Toddler Busy Book that is jam packed with great ideas about what to do with a busy toddler. In the book the writer talks about enjoying every stage of your child's life because they grow up so fast. As I paused to think I realized how many great things there really are in each stage. It's so easy to dwell on the exhaustion, the healing from the pregnancy, and the other discomforts of a newborn; but when you stop and think there are so many more amazing things! I just need to be better at remember the amazing rather than the miserable. The way people hear me talk sometimes they must wonder if I even like being a mom!


Here are the wonderful things that I remember about a newborn:

1. They cuddle with you endlessly for as long as you want.

2. That first smile is a heart melter.

3. They seem so in awe at the world around them. It is so fun to sit and watch them just look at everything around them taking it in for the first time.

4. Nursing, while painful and frustrating at times, is such a neat bonding experience with your baby. It's just you and baby time and it's something that you can do for your baby that no one else can. I don't mean to sound like a crazy "nipple nazi" - as my doctor used to refer to them - but nursing really is a neat experience.

5. The newborn cry - while it was usually a cause for distress at the time, now when I hear one it just makes me smile. There is no cry like a newborn cry. I have a feeling that the newborn cry is the only cry that will ALWAYS mean that your baby truly is in need of you. Now crying can mean that I am needed, but it can also include a range of temper tantrums and the funny fake cry!

6. Everyone loves a newborn! While I was super anal about germs - there was always a good prideful feeling that I got when someone wanted to look at or hold MaKenzie. Everyone just has such nice things to say about how beautiful your newborn is and I loved that feeling!

7. Finally, the best memory I have my newborn was the first time I held her. The love that you have for that little baby is beyond description. I always knew I loved my children and I always looked forward to having them, but nothing could prepare for the overpowering feeling of love and protection that overwhelms you when you and your husband get to hold that infant in your arms for the first time.